Shaadi Matrimonials

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SH66090985 
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  • 35 / 6' 0" (182cm)
  • Never Married
  • Bachelors - Management
  • Software Developer / Programmer
  • Christian
  • Malayalam
  • Roman Catholic
  • Champaign, IL, USA

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Partner Preference

In their own words
  • If you are taking this process seriously, you are probably frustrated by the
    useless trivia often recorded here. Lists of attributes or descriptions of our
    aspirational selves serve no valuable purpose. Neither of us have time for
    mystery.

    Here's the deal:

    Religion - Not interested
    ---------------
    I was raised catholic, and went to catholic schools. I've since studied other
    religions too. I recognize the appeal, but it is just not a part of my life.
    I'm not interested in growing my faith or improving my relationship with Jesus.
    Prayer is not a problem solving tactic in my play-book. I'm operating on the
    "I'll play along and behave" level. I am equipped to have complex
    philosophical discussions on the matter, but recognize it is just a pastime,
    and there is not likely a favorable outcome.

    If you want to give the children a religious education, that's cool. If you
    want me to attend church on a regular basis, that may require extra effort.


    Language - I can barely understand Malayalam
    ---------------
    There weren't any mallu kids growing up. We didn't have Sunday school. My
    sister and I were usually the only brown people at our schools. I can mostly
    understand what my parents say, but I'm really lost in real conversations.
    Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed that I don't speak our language. There isn't
    much to do about it now.

    I'm open to study, but we'll have to decide what to give up to make time for that.


    Travel - Not interested
    ---------------
    Sure, at some point in my life I've thought about how nice it would be to spend
    years having adventures traveling with my partner. Learning and growing and
    exploring. Lets get real. "Ain't nobody got time for that." Travel now is
    just anxiety and stress, and will be nearly impossible as our combined
    responsibilities grow.

    If you have the sort of expectation that you need to take a vacation to an
    interesting place on a regular basis, as in that's the sort of thing you look
    forward to, and makes working and life in general worthwhile, then we probably
    aren't a good fit. If you insist on traveling, and would be willing to go get
    your travel on without me, so I can stay home, sleep, and binge watch TV, then
    we might have a chance.


    Arts/Food/Culture - If you want it
    -----------------
    A lot of women seem to be into these things. I'm not passionate about it.

    Much like religion, I'll play along.


    Suitable as a Husband/Father/Provider/Lover - Yes
    ---------------
    I've been around long enough to have gathered a useful collection of worldly
    wisdom. One of you was explaining the various ways one can express love, the
    "languages" of love specifically. One of the languages is "service." I
    think that is the perfect characterization of how I express love. I've never
    really said "I love you" to anybody, not even my family, it just feels goofy.
    I take care of people. I'm a problem solver. When somebody needs help, I'm
    there. If this was a old-timey gangster movie, I'd be "the fixer."


    Money - Let's live modestly and debt free
    ---------------
    It would be great if you didn't have a crazy amount of student loans. Or if
    you do have loans, you had a plan to squash that debt in a timely manner other
    than marry your way out.

    Lets do work we enjoy and not worry about money. If you don't want to work,
    that's fine, but if you are anything like me, then you would probably find that
    hard to do. If you want to pursue a high stress career, then I can take more
    responsibility at home.


    Kids - Yes
    ---------------
    Unless you are like, 23, we don't have a lot of time. Lets just have as many
    kids as time allows, within reason.


    Origin Story - Just like yours
    -----------------
    My family's story is probably much like yours. My parents came here from Kerala
    in the 70's with very little. They worked hard, learned some things the hard
    way, but generally made the right moves in pursuit of a better life for us
    and the folks back home. My older sister and I are both American born. She's
    married with two kids, and now everyone is anxious to see me settled.

    I've enjoyed a good amount of freedom in my adult life. My family hasn't given
    me a hard time about my education, or career, or living far from home. My
    sister is closer to home, and despite her myriad responsibilities, has taken the
    lead in tending to my parents.

    The expectation was that I'd come home eventually, get married eventually, and
    we could all take care of each other, eventually. That hasn't happened yet.
    When I take time to think about it all, I feel some shame about how selfish I've
    behaved. Those moments are brief because it's easy to resume being caught up
    in the activities of daily life. Maybe I've constructed a web of
    responsibilities to hold me here, so I can point at concrete reasons why I can't
    move home just yet.

    My parents taught me to work. It's actually my favorite thing to do. I do it
    all the time. It's been a convenient outlet for my attention all these many
    years. Like many people who work a lot, I may score ok financially, but far
    behind with respect to starting a family. There aren't even any more
    engagements and weddings. It's all just babies now.

    I don't feel like I've ever been free to let go in a relationship. I cycle
    between some well known states: "Let's do a proper search for a suitable
    woman," "Why do I have to carry the burden of finding a suitable partner,
    there's a woman right in front of me that likes me," and "I know there is no
    future here, it was irresponsible for me to indulge, I have a duty to this
    woman and my stakeholders to stop this."

    And now I'm here. Possibly in a "lets do a proper search" cycle. Take that
    for what its worth.
Basic Info
    • 35 / 6' 0" (182cm)
    • Never Married
    • Dark / Slim
    • USA
    • Non-Veg
    • Occasionally
    • Occasionally
    • Aries
    • No Health Problems
Religious Background
    • Christian
    • Roman Catholic
    • Malayalam
    • English
Family Details
    • Retired
    • Employed
    • Moderate
    • Not Specified
    • 0
    • 1 of which married 1
    • Moderate
    • Middle Class
Education And Profession
    • Bachelors - Management
    • Software Developer / Programmer
    • Not applicable
    • Private Company
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Location
    • USA
    • Champaign, Illinois
    • USA
    • Citizen
Interests and more
    • Cooking, Dancing
    • Health & Fitness, Listening to music, Movies, Reading / Book clubs, Watching television
    • Enjoy most forms of music
    • Business / Occupational, Philosophy / Spiritual, Self-help
    • Love all kinds of movies
    • Billiards / Snooker / Pool, Cycling, Jogging / Walking / Running, Tennis
    • Anything edible is great!
    • Casual - usually in jeans and T-shirts, Trendy - in line with the latest fashion
    • 22 to 36
    • 5' 0"(152cm) to 6' 0"(182cm)
    • Not Important
    • No
    • Not Important
    • Malayalam
    • USA
    • USA

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